It has been so long since the last time I started writing over here again. There are so many things happen in my life and I really don't how and where to begin with.

Have you ever think if life can be easy? You don't have to work that much and yet you have the income to sustain yourself? You can do whatever you want without worrying about money? When money comes into the picture, it will contradict with what you want in your life. Will you put your passion first or money first?

There are so many things in we life that dream of or we want to do but..... alot of times, we are unable to do so. Or rather I say we need great determination and motivation to work towards our goal.

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, talking about the law of attraction, dream what you want and you will get what you dream. Do you believe? Well, I believe. Maybe I am not trying hard enough hence I still have not fully get what I want. There is one thing I had achieve is my health. Ever since I was 12, I was diagnosed with Lupus. What is that?

Okay, a short explanation:
Lupus is an autoimmune disease where the body's immune system becomes hyperactive and attacks normal, healthy tissue. This results in symptoms such as inflammation, swelling, and damage to joints, skin, kidneys, blood, the heart, and lungs. (Taken from: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/info/lupus/) Ha! If you want me to explain, I also don't know how.

Knowing my health is like that, there are so many things that I want but I don't even dare to dream or even know how to achieve it. If now, a person comes and tell you it is easy. Will you give a try? Given 3 to 5 years, you will achieve what you dream of, fulfil all your goals. What will you think? Do you also have the same thoughts as me that flash through in my head? A fraud? Serious? Sounds so unrealistic.... And of course, it was all in my head! And which means what I have done all these while is wrong? I had spent too much time trying to achieve what I want to achieve.

With all these doubts, I stepped into it, not knowing if I can achieve it, can't really see my future, don't even dare to dream of what I have always wanted...... I don't even know if this can works... A person like me, with no confident, never like to talk to people... Now, I need to learn all these. Or rather, I have to do all these despite I don't want to. It is a fear I need to overcome. A fear I choose to believe I can't do it all these while.

In order to dream what I dream of, to do what I want to do, to be who I want to be, to give what I can give, I need money to fulfil. Till now, I really hope I have made the right decision. Don't worry... it is not anything illegal. Will keep writing as I work on it. Just wish me success.

It just came to my mind... the most common thing that we all do in our daily lives... Refilling toilet paper. Yup, you have not read wrongly at all. Is refilling toilet paper! What does it got to do with karma??

Simple explanation of karma: the result of a person's actions as well as the actions themselves. Which means is the cycle of cause and effect. According to the theory of Karma, what happens to a person, happens because they caused it with their actions. Karma is about all that a person has done, is doing and will do. Karma is not about punishment or reward. It makes a person resposible for their own life, and how they treat other people.

How often you are the last to used up the toilet paper? Do you always refill it? Or do you just hope that maybe the next person who comes it will do the refilling job for you?

Of course, sometimes I fall in the second scenario: hoping someone can do the job for me. Well, that's human nature.. And this is where I meant karma comes into the picture. When you are hoping that things will not come back to you, it will. I always 'think' someone in the family will do that simple job for me....... But it was always me who don't why ended in the toilet the next day with no toilet paper. (And that was me who just want to avoid the hassle of refilling the toilet paper).

Maybe it is just simple things happening. But it can reflect to reality..... Karma. Looking back at real life situation, a father who abused the child since the child was young. Slowly, the little child grew up, abused his own child and maybe even his father who used to abuse him when he was young. Get the picture? Sound similar like the toilet paper scenario?

Things that we often do, and yet we don't know it has been telling us 'We are what we do'. Or maybe our subconscious mind just choose not to notice it. In the end, whatever we do, remember karma does happen and it will always happen back to you despite whether is it a small little thing or ........

As usual, I was at home doing my chores, when there was this housefly came by irritating me.. Hmm... why I called it a house fly? It has been staying my house for quite sometimes and it has become part of my family. So it is a 'housefly' instead of a 'fly'.

Okay, back to my topic. And at that point of time, I was cursing at that stupid housefly. And a question suddenly popped into my head. Hmm.. So should I called it a pest or an insect? I went to check on the definition of insect and pest. Insect is a small invertebrate animal with segmented body, 6 legs and usually wings. Pest is a troublesome or destructive person, animal or thing. So which means that housefly belongs to these two categories.

And if I am classified it as an insect. I am being very nice to it. It is no different to other types of insects like ants, butterfly... But I am not going to. From my grandmother's days, we all the while know that housefly is a pest. House Fly is often a carrier of diseases, such as typhoid fever, cholera, dysentery, and anthrax. The fly transmits diseases by carrying disease organisms onto food. It picks up disease organisms on its leg hairs or eats them and then regurgitates them onto food (in the process of liquefying solid food). It definitely belong to the destructive side.

But think again: In the list of insects, most of it are pest. Okay, what is it before a butterfly? A Caterpillar, right? Insect or pest? Can be both. Why do I say that? What does caterpillar consume? We all know that it consumes leaves. If there are only one to two caterpillars on the tree, the tree is safe. From a caterpillar to a butterfly, it needs tremendous amounts of leaves to sustain and change to a butterfly. Now, imagine the tree is full of caterpillar. Of course, the poor tree will be bald by then, and lack of nutrition as the chlorophyll in the leaves are its main source allowing it to obtain energy from light.

Now at this point, is butterfly an insect or pest? Maybe we can classified it before and after. Before it becomes a butterfly, the caterpillar is a pest. After it becomes a butterfly, it is an insect. Human are contradicting beings. We give names to classify these little creatures as insects. And somehow these little creatures start to interrupt our lives, so we come out another name for them as pests. So now, when you see any insect, you can think again whether it belongs to the insect category or the pest side?

Remember the first day I stepped into the Student Care, I was a stranger, a stranger to all the kids in the Student Care. I started off with the Primary One students... Slowly stepped into their life, slowly know their names. They were adorable. From that day, we learnt to know each other. Slowly, they let off their guard towards me. From a stranger till they know who I am... and ran towards me calling my name "Miss Ang! Miss Ang!"